Turkey and exams. 2 things that will forever be linked in my mind. *Sigh*

It's kind of funny when you think about it, since they symbolize entirely opposite things. Turkey is a symbol of food, family and relaxation, while midterms make you think of sleep deprivation, self-imposed isolation and stress. And yet, thanks to the school's timing, the two are intertwined. You've gotta wonder if they do it on purpose...

Anyways, I guess I should report on midterms first. They've been going on for the past 2 weeks, during which everyone has collectively lost it. After all, people are still adjusting to the fact that they're really only accountable to themselves. There's the dawning realization that while you can party 24/7, you will pay for it eventually. You'll also pay for not doing your homework and/or doing your reading - even if it's not for marks, it's pretty important because it helps you understand the material instead of just memorizing it. And you'd better think again if you believe that the profs are going to chase after you and/or make sure you're doing OK in class. It's sink or swim here, and a lot of people (myself included) are just barely treading water.

To counteract the midterm stress, I spent Thanksgiving weekend with the "New Brunswick crew"*. My visiting grandma invited me to stay with my aunt and uncle, which was awesome! Aside from the free (and delicious) food and the fact that I had my laundry done for me (thanks Grandma!), it was nice to just spend the weekend with everyone. We went to a birthday party Saturday night, where I met family I didn't even know I had. Those same family members then came over for dinner on Sunday - there were 20 of us in total. Monday was spent driving out to Perth to see my great-grandma's beautiful old farmhouse, then we were back in time for leftovers that evening. It was nice just being able to relax and not stress for a bit!

Speaking of stress, I'm sorry my posting's been so erratic. The past 2 months have been kinda crazy - I've been hit with one thing after another. Hopefully it'll all settle down after I take my last midterm tomorrow, and then I'll be able return to regularly scheduled programming.

Adios for now,
Moi

*For those of you playing along at home, the "New Brunswick crew" consists of the 16 or so people that spend every summer and/or Christmas at my grandparents' house in (you guessed it) New Brunswick.

So last week was a bit crazy. Stress, hormones, homesickness... it all piled up and kind of exploded in my face on Wednesday/Thursday. I was kind of a mess and ended up going home for the weekend, just to get away for a bit. I really needed a good dose of unprocessed food, sleep in my comfy bed and cuddle time with my puppies. And, y'know, seeing my family.

I don't mind admitting that deciding to go home was kind of a hard decision. There's a big attitude here about how you should be able to handle everything on your own because you're a Big Kid now. While I agree with that attitude in some respects (it's not unreasonable to expect us to be able to feed ourselves or do laundry on our own, for example), it does make it tough to admit that you're having trouble. Trying to tell someone that you went home for the weekend brings the phrase "crying home to Mommy" to mind.

The truth is, though, that sometimes you just can't handle everything on your own. Starting university (especially if you're living on your own) is a big transition - not only do you have to deal with assignments and exams, but there's also dealing with the fact that you're starting out with little to no friends, woefully inadequate time management skills and a completely different financial situation. Trying to juggle all of these is a lot to handle for someone who just finished high school! Pair that with the aforementioned attitude, which says that even if you have a support system you shouldn't use it, and you have a recipe for disaster.

In the end, I'm really happy that I decided to go home for the weekend. Sure, it screwed up my plans (I can't believe I missed the Smart Chicks tour!), but it allowed me to take a step back from the crap that was building up here and think it over from a different angle. I didn't even know how much I needed that until I was back again!

Oh, and cuddling with my puppies and seeing my friends back home didn't hurt either :)

TTFN. I have a midterm to study for.
Me

Hi people,

The reason I've been offline for so long is, as you might have gathered, because I'm sick. As in ear-infection-and-the-flu sick. It's what comes from living with 3000 other people in a place with questionable sanitation.

The one thing that this has taught me (aside from the fact that yes, YOU have to take care of yourself) is that nobody at university much cares how sick you are. You're still expected to drag yourself to classes with a fever. You're still expected to participate when you've lost your voice. And coughing only earns you glares.

Learning this has toughened me up, though - I was even able to attend a fundraising dinner/concert on Saturday, despite the fact that I was dizzy and had to wear heels. The experience was pretty cool. I just hope I didn't infect Loreen Harper or Sarah McLachlan when I talked to them!

TTYL. I'm going back to bed.
K

So I'm done my first week of classes. Weird...

For those of you playing along at home, I'm taking 3 languages (German, Italian and Gaelic) this semester, along with Philosophy and Occult History courses. It's an interesting course load* - not particularly heavy, but it really messes with your mind. My weekends look something like this: Resolve philosophical argument, study religious myths, give up on philosophy, type notes in 3 different unrelated languages, confuse definitions and/or translations. Repeat until Microsoft Word implodes.

Just in case this wasn't complicated enough, it was discovered that I'm way too advanced for my Italian class. So thanks to the course I took in Italy, I get to take a placement test and be bumped up to a 2nd- or 3rd-year class. My brain is crying already.

More later.
K


*The official Translation Program doesn't start til next year, meaning that I was able to take whatever electives I wanted to this year. While I do have an Intro to Translation course next semester, it's not required. Just wanted to clarify because I've had people ask me about this so many times!

Hi all,

So frosh week is over. A full week of concerts, people, and generally craziness is done. No more being called a "little fucker" (at least not affectionately), no more being told to "show me how you trim your bush" or telling the engineers that "we get laid!". It's kind of a bittersweet feeling.

I guess the best way to do this is to pick the best and the worst of what this week had to offer and then reflect on it. So without further ado...

Winner: the carnival. Aside from the wicked games and free food (I ate a LOT of hotdogs this week, because who doesn't love a free meal?), this was where I started to feel accepted. When you don't know anybody around you, it's kind of nice to have someone acknowledge your existence! And all the upperclassmen were actually friendly ("little fuckers" stuff aside), so that helped me to open up as well.

The winning memory from outside the 101 week stuff is definitely from yesterday. I walked down to the market near my school in the morning and just sat in the sun enjoying my croissant and hot chocolate. The entire market smelled like baking bread (yum!) and I felt totally peaced out. It was really nice :)

Oh, and I suppose being taken back to the school by a dude who decided to turn our school bus into a party bus deserves an honourary mention. That was just plain fun. 

Now for the worst:

The prize for worst event is actually tied. Contestant #1: the foam party at Volt. The club itself was just nasty and I ended up leaving early. Not cool.

Contestant #2 is the concert last night. They were (theoretically) taking us to see Down With Webster. Cool, right? Not. Not only did they drop us off right after the football game, so that nobody had a chance to get sweaters or anything, but we got there a good 2 hours early. Sure, we could distract ourselves by getting free swag or standing in the hour-long line for an overpriced hotdog, but that only lasted so long. I wish I could say things got better after the first opener (of 3!) came on, but that would be lying. It was like being at a Nickelback concert - after the first 2 songs, everything just sounded the same. Enough of us gave up by 9:00 that we were able to get a bus to take us back to the school... with the aforementioned bus driver attached. The night definitely improved from then on.

So... yeah. That's about it for my frosh week reflections. It was the best of times and it was the worst of times, but either way it's over now. Stay tuned next week for my (sure to be hilarious) description of my course load.

Ciao for now,
Me

Hi all,

So I'm mostly moved in to my dorm now. I say "mostly" because I'm not really unpacked, and because I'm staying in the hotel until my mom and sister leave on Monday. But I have my student card and room keys and stuff, so I'm not entirely disorganized :)

Now that I'm here, though, I'm starting to get used to the idea that this will be my home base for the next year or so. Yes, I'm still freaked out about having to be a Big Girl, but I'm starting to realize that it's not going to be as hard as I thought it would. There are LOTS of upperclassmen who are willing to help, and most of the first-years are in the same boat. It makes it easier and less embarrassing to adopt the "Hi, I'm new and I'm lost" approach!

It also helps that there is SO MUCH going on. Aside from the whole signing-your-life-away-a-million-times thing, there are people everywhere. The upperclassmen are actually more intense than all the first-years - most of them are in massive groups, (loudly) chanting and singing for their different causes. The most memorable? My very own faculty group, who were singing a war song about "shitting on the assholes below". This was for the benefit of the exactly zero students from our rival university milling around. Maybe they were just trying to foster competition right from the start?

Argh, I wanted to include something about how I'm sorry for freaking out in my last post, but my computer has decided to rebel. I guess it's not sorry for my freak-out.

Signing off now,
Me

I leave tomorrow. I still have no idea what I've gotten myself into.

... AAAAAAAAAAADFADRFRWETGFLKHETOIHJGJJJJ!!!!!!!!

I know I shouldn't be so, well, freaked out. I know this is something I've wanted for a verrrry long time (as my BFF kindly pointed out when I started to panic today), but it's really freakin' hard to remember that when there are so many unknowns ahead. What are classes going to be like? How heavy is the workload? Will I make friends? Are my roommate and I going to be able to tolerate each other? How am I supposed to do "big girl" things like making sure my bills are paid? What happens if I get lost? These are the questions that have been swirling around my little blonde brain for the past few days. It's like a personal hailstorm of insecurities.

And then there's everything that I'm just starting to realize I'll have to leave behind. My Bug. My doggies. Privacy. Most of my favourite books. My friends and family. Real food. All sacrificed in the name of growing up and getting an education. Will it be worth it? I hope to God the answer is yes.

*exhales*

OK, time for happy thoughts. I promised the aforementioned BFF that I'd focus on the happy sparkly optimistic stuff instead of worrying all the time. So. What are things I have to look forward to?

Well, there's the opportunity to start with a clean slate, for one. Truth is, the only people I know "out there" are family, and while I love them dearly I'm not going to let them stop me from changing. They watched me grow up - taking on my own identity is just one more part of that. To that end, I plan to get a tattoo once I'm settled in at school. I was thinking a pair of angel (or maybe phoenix) wings, one on the underside of each wrist. They symbolize a sort of rebirth and remind me to appreciate life because it's entirely too fragile. What do you think?

On the same topic, I can also look forward to (hopefully) making new friends. To be honest, I didn't have the greatest experience with high-school friends. Some (OK most) of that was my fault - I let myself become the "pity invite" friend, which pretty much sucked. Thankfully, everyone else will be in the same "new-kid" situation this time, so I won't have to worry about feeling like I'm invading someone else's clique. That, and I know better than to let myself feel unwanted like that again.

Finally, moving away means that I'll be WAY more independent. While it's not always a good thing (see freak-out questions above), it is important to me. All I'll say about that is that not being able to eat or pee by yourself* makes you realize exactly how sweet independence can be.

And on that note, I'll sign off. Time for more packing.
K

*For those of you playing along at home, I was almost killed in a car accident in April. I was in a hard neck brace (which I fondly referred to as my "torture device") and immobilized for 2 days because they were afraid I had severe whiplash on top of my broken shoulder blade. This meant that I had to be put on a catheter and was only able to open my mouth about an inch. Yes, it sucked more than you can imagine, but it also taught me to appreciate what I have.